


a useless exercise in misery

by sadgorl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Hogwarts Third Year, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Other, Pre-Canon, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Young Sirius Black, honestly this is a marauders fic about sirius and james's friendship everyone else is irrelevant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23285320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadgorl/pseuds/sadgorl
Summary: when trying to teach students to defend themselves against the dark arts, it is important for students to understand both mortal dark magic, from dark wizards, and amortal dark magic, like boggarts, poltergeists, and monsters. when sirius black is faced with his boggart, nothing goes according to plan, or to the class agenda, but james is there to back him up.
Relationships: Sirius Black & James Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	a useless exercise in misery

sirius isn’t a big fan of _defense against the dark arts._ he wants to be, but he struggles a lot with it. maybe it’s because he can’t sit in a room listening to the curses his parents threw at him being described repeatedly as _unforgivable,_ and _punishable_ by the ministry, but no one had ever come to save him. unforgivable curses are pretty _fucking_ forgivable when you have the fortune of the most ancient and noble house of black backing you up. throw around enough galleons and everything goes away.

his gaze has drifted out the window and he’s daydreaming. he’s thinking about how he’d like to sit in the grass, out by the lake, because it’s such a _beautiful day._ and how he knows that scotland’s weather is on the upswing, and how much warmer it is out than it used to be. he’s thinking about how he’d like to be out in the fields, talking to hagrid about his hippogriff or about dragons. how he could be walking the underground passage from hogwarts to the honeyduke’s cellar, and picking up sweets for his friends and his younger brother. maybe it’d be nice, as a sort of peace offering, because of the fight he got into regulus only a few days prior for hanging around snivelous snape. snivelous, who he was in class with right now. the greasy know it all had raised his hand repeatedly in class, and he wanted nothing more than to shove that brown noser out of the room and out of his life. the slimey git only participated because he liked to hear himself speak, sirius was sure of it.

when their professor makes the move to line everyone up for an activity with boggarts, and he’s not paying any attention. james has to elbow him in the arm for him to even notice that they’re all supposed to be getting up and lining up. he doesn’t want to _be here._ he wants to leave – to go back to their dorm and plan pranks with james, remus, and pete. sure, they’ll probably get in trouble for whatever they have planned, but who cares. it has to be _more interesting_ than whatever _useless_ trite their learning right now. he stands in front of james in line, mostly because james dragged him over, and he’s barely noticed what’s going on. that’s probably how he finds himself at thee front, watching as the boggart transforms into _something._ but then he’s staring into the face of his mother, and he doesn’t remember the _fucking charm._ and even if he had, he’s paralyzed with fear, and he can’t think. his wand is shaking in his hand and he can’t move, _can’t think,_ **can’t breathe.** why was he staring down the face of his mother in his defense against the dark arts class? and she was opening her mouth– fuck what was she saying. his head is spinning and he can hear her screaming at him “ _shame of my flesh! i should have known that you would–”_

but then sirius is being shoved backward and the **thing** is shapeshifting again into a giant flesh eating slug, and sirius can’t hear anything beyond the ringing in his ears. the world seems to be moving in slow motion, and as the slug turns into a half slug-half corpes and james and peter are both in front of him, yelling something. the half slug-half corpse is changing again and james is pulling him to the back of the line, peter and remus following behind him. 

“sirius– hey, you alright, mate?”

“yeah– yeah– fine, why wouldn’t i be?”  


“that was your mum, yeah?”  


“i–uh–” but then he’s interrupted by the greasy git of the hour, because he can hear snivelous taunting him about his boggart being his _mother_ and he **knows** it’s just to get under his skin but sirius can’t fucking control himself. before he’s even thought it through he’s punched snape square in the face, making his massive nose bleed. he doesn’t even wait for the professor to take points from gryffindor, “i’m _going_ to mcgonagall’s office. _fuck this.”_

james is walking in time with him, which confuses the _shit_ out of sirius. “james, you don’t have to come with me. you didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“call me a character witness mate. the slimy git deserved it.”

when they reach minerva’s office, she already knows _why_ they’ve come. “mister black, i cannot have you punching other students in the face at your leisure.” 

“but professor–”  


“no buts, mister potter. now someone tell me what exactly happened with mister snape?”  


“he was being obnoxious. i lashed out. just tell me how many detentions i have. it’s fine.”  


“now that’s simply not an explanation. mister potter, would you care to enlighten me?” sirius was clearly trying to _avoid talking about it,_ so when he raised his eyebrows at james, he expected his friend to know not to explain what had happened. he was quickly proven to have set his expectations too high, because as soon as james launches into the story, he’s wishing to disappear from the room. he tries to tune his best mate out, staring out the window as he had been all day.   


“is that true mister black?”   


“is what true?”  


“did you punch mister snape for making fun of your boggart?”  


“pretty much.”   


she hands him detention for the rest of the week, a slap on the wrist if you asked sirius. and she takes five points from gryffindor, but much like the detentions, it’s an inconsequential number. what sirius doesn’t expect is for her to ask james to stay behind to discuss things with her. 

sirius takes the rest of the day to sulk in the dormitories and the gryffindor common room. when james finally returns, after his meeting and his classes, sirius is caught between being eager to ask him about what had happened and wanting to ignore the events of the morning entirely. however, he almost feels like he doesn’t have to when james starts talking. “y’kow sirius, if you don’t want to go back for the summer, you can always come to stay at mine. my parents would love to have you.” sirius feels raw– exposed by the question even– “oh uh, i’d like that but... my parents probably wouldn’t let me.” 

“oh, okay. well it might be worth asking? minnie gave me ten points today. something about friendship and loyalty?”

sirius shakes his head with a defeated sigh, but that doesn’t stop the overwhelming gratitude he feels for james. james who got rid of the stupid fucking boggart, who went and sorted things with mcgonagall, who just offered up his home without sirius explaining anything. james potter was a good friend, and sirius would do _anything_ to keep him in his life. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments & kudos are appreciated! you can find me on tumblr @mvnvgedmischief


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